Time travel.

There’s a job on the local paper’s job site!! An actual real sensible “me” job! It’s a real sign of the decline in vacancies that anything remotely worth applying for is such a cause for celebration.

This one’s a goody though, Senior Negotiator for a local independent estate agents. I know of this crowd and they’ve got a good reputation, unlike so many (sorry SA). I could really see myself doing this and I read the advertisement again with relish. It’s literally just gone up on the job site within the last 1/2 hour too, it certainly wasn’t there when I checked earlier.

“Apply in writing by email or to our address” it says. I’ll do one better than that, I’ll write my application and I’ll take it in by hand.

I print off my CV and a resume of my career history. Then I set to carefully handcrafting a letter that I hope will knock ’em bandy.

An hour later I’ve re-read it and fine tuned it for the hundredth time and printed it off. I flourish a signature with my lucky Mont Blanc pen and slide it into the envelope with my CV and resume and seal it.

Next I grab a shave and slip my Italian Paul Smith suit out from its protective carrier. I bought this suit a couple of days before leaving my previous job. I didn’t wear suits to work so had nothing really suitable. I had no compunction in investing in a really great suit for interviews, two button, charcoal grey, no pinstripes, no fancy features, conservative, stylish, and gorgeous wool and mohair construction. It looks a million dollars and didn’t cost a lot less but as the old adage has it, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. And this suit makes a great first impression. I team it with a white cotton shirt and a discreet Hugo Boss silk tie. Highly polished modest black leather lace up shoes and a proper watch complete the ensemble, I’m looking good and ready to rock.

I unlock The Polite Hatchback and slip the suit jacket onto a hook in the rear on its hanger to avoid creases, drop the envelope containing dynamite application letter and CV onto the front passenger seat and fire up the engine with a muted diesel clatter.

The estate agents in question lie about a 15 minute drive away in the next town and parking is easy. I slide into a space and switch off. Suit jacket on, CV in hand, a final check on my appearance in the reflection of the side window and I’m striding purposely across the road and the short distance up the pavement to my potential employers.

The bell jangles as I open the door and quickly survey the interior of the office. The front couple of desks are empty, two older gentlemen sit a little further back at desks in the rear of the premises. They look like managers, or maybe directors as it’s a small family business. Perfect.

They both watch me approach and one of them smiles a welcome. “Can I help you?” he enquires. I explain that I’ve seen their advert posted on the job site this morning and that I should very much like to apply please.

Brows furrow. “That’s odd” says the second man, “we placed that ad a fortnight ago, we’ve just taken someone on literally a day or two ago, are you sure it was on there today?”

I slump internally, I’m absolutely certain, it even had the issue date as today. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. We piece it together between us, it appears they placed the advert with the local paper for inclusion in their job vacancies section a fortnight back. It appeared in the paper and should have been posted on the web site at the same time, they’d assumed it had. We come to the only logical conclusion that someone at the paper messed up, and it never made the site until someone suddenly realised it was pending and put it up quick. A fortnight after it should have been and a fortnight too late for me.

Both men are apologetic but it’s not their fault. They offer to take my details anyway “in case anything changes” and I leave my CV with them, shake hands with them both and beat a retreat.

Back home I kick my shoes off, slip the suit back in its carrier, drop my tie on the bed and recheck the job site. Yep, there it is, issue date today. Idiots! I wonder how many other hopefuls the company will find itself fending off? But short of a time machine this one’s too late for me.

Oh well, it was a mornings spark of hope, pity it was extinguished quite so fast and so finally.

Back to the drawing board.


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2 Responses to “Time travel.”

  1. Pat (MSE) Says:

    Oh rotten luck Charlie.

    The moral of that story is… buy the local paper.

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