Is there anybody out there…?

Does anyone else, I wonder, feel that this recession has been just a little too easy? That might seem an odd thing for me to say considering that it cost me my job of twenty years, but hasn’t it been? For sure house prices have dropped a bit but my next door neighbour, keen to sell (was it something I said?) dropped his price fifteen thousand and got it gone pretty darn quick. That’s not much of a drop compared to the six figure rises that took place over the last ten to fifteen years. The dole queue went up a bit (this I know, having been on it) and then came down a bit. And sales of big ticket items (cars and holidays and whatnot) stalled quite badly and then got back into gear again.

This was the big one, this was the Great Depression of the 21st century. It brought banks to their knees and exposed trillions upon trillions of ill-advised lending, most of which was unlikely to ever come back. The country was in debt crisis, personal finances were in debt crisis, the balloon had well and truly gone up. Lots of scary graphs on the news, big red arrows pointing south, and worried small businessmen discussing cash-flow and debt restructuring.

And then… Nothing. A new government, a lot of stern talk about tightening of belts, new austerity, and then it was carry on chaps, nothing more to see here. Can it really be that easy?

It’s a question I ponder as I gaze out over the sea of polished metal on the other side of the plate glass windows of our modest showroom. Car sales has been quite good to me. The final quarter of last year spent trapped in the blind panic of needing to know everything instantly, and then I emerged into the new year finally getting some traction and powering forward. And I’ve shifted some cars I can tell you. Shifted some cars and earned some fairly decent money in the process.

Not now though. For the last couple of months it’s been scarily quiet. Not dead. But not far off. Like not seeing a soul all morning quiet. Not so good when you’re on a commission based income. I’m very lucky, I can live on my basic (and it is basic I can assure you), but there are one or two worried faces at work right now.

All of which makes me wonder, did we get off lightly last year? Or was the real recession simply postponed, put off like a debt addled household that managed to obtain another credit card in order to keep the plates spinning just that little bit longer.

Maybe the challenging times ahead we’ve been forewarned of for so long are finally upon us…

Modern technology

Cruising to The Blonde’s in my almost but not quite top spec Fiesta Zetec I decide to give her a quick call, let her know I’m on my way. Maybe she’ll put the dinner on. Time to employ a little technology, Ford style. I extend a digit and touch the voice control button on the indicator stalk that controls the radio, CD player, and the in-built hands-free car phone that links via Bluetooth to my mobile phone. This is properly trick kit. The radio mutes and the car emits a polite “bleep”.

“Phone” I intone, solemnly.

The current format does not support the command “track”.

What!? I said phone, not track! I press the voice control button again.

Bleep.

“Phone”

Phone

That’s better.

“Dial name”

Store name

“No not store, dial!”

Name please?

G’aahh!! “Cancel”

Command cancelled.

Bleep.

“Phone”.

Command please.

“PHONE!”

Phone.

“Dial name”

Store name.

“CANCEL!!”

Command cancelled.

Deep breaths. Calm, calm… Press button again. Bleep.

“Phone”

Phone.

“Dial name”

“Store name. Name please?”

No no no no NO! “CANCEL!!!”

Command cancelled.

Count to ten. Breath in through nose, and exhale.

Bleep.

“Phone”.

Phone

“Dial. Name.”

Dial name. Name please?

Yes, yes, YES! Now we’re cooking.

“Blonde home” (yes I really do have her as that on my voice dial).

Blonde mobile

Nooooooo….!

“CANCEL!!” You stupid stupid thing!

Command cancelled.

Unclench fingers from steering wheel and flex them gently. Control breathing. Press button.

Bleep.

“Phone”.

Phone

“Dial. Name.”

Dial name. Name please?

“Blonde home”

Tom home

AAAAARRRRRGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Bleep.

“P H O N E !”

Phone

D I A L. N A M E.

Dial name, name please.

B L O N D E. H O M E.

Blonde home. Confirm yes to dial?

Yes. Yes yes a thousand times yes!!

Dialling.

Brr brrr… brr.. brrr… click.

Hello The Blonde speaking (No she doesn’t really say that but you know, client confidentiality, Hippocratic oath, Date Protection, all that nonsense).

“Err, hi, it’s Charlie, just ringing from the car to let you know I’m on my way.”

“Hmmm… but you’re on my drive, I can see you.”

“Yes I know that, but I wasn’t when I started dialling you!!”

“Sorry?”

“Oh, look, never mind never mind.”

“You seem rather flustered and you appear to be phoning me from my drive, is everything ok?”

“Yes yes, it’s fine, absolutely fine.”

“Riiiiight. So are you coming in?”

“Yes yes, I’ll be right there.”

“Oooakay. I’ll put dinner on then shall I?”

“Good plan, see you in a sec.”

“Rightio, bye then.”

“Goodbye.”

The Blonde looks at me quizzically through the window as she hangs up and I climb out of my car.

Bloody technology, I’m calling from home before I leave next time!

Managing expectations

My new manager has pulled a bit of a blinder on my company car front. Well aware of my displeasure in recent Fusion motoring he was gently “encouraged” to steer acquisition of my new steed firmly in the direction of a Fiesta, ideally with a decent (read Zetec) spec, bigger engine if poss, and the Bluetooth handsfree phone connection would be a bonus. Wrap it up in a nice shade and he can colour me happy.

It took a few weeks but he did it. It sat outside, dark smokey metallic grey, the more powerful (that’s more powerful, not actually powerful) 1.4 engine, Zetec spec giving air con, alloys, computer thingummy, interior lighting pack (footwells, submarine lighting and so forth), bits of chrome trim and whatnot. And it came fitted with the all important Bluetooth, which automatically adds a much nicer central dash display, rear stereo speakers, and voice activation and dialling (touch the button on the indicator stalk and say “phone”, “dial number”, “Blonde” and I’m talking to herself in moments). Seems recent sales success hasn’t gone unnoticed, or unrewarded (quite apart from the increased commission payments).

The irony of it all is that barely two years ago I was cruising a beautiful Audi A4 convertible, midnight blue, Bose hi fi, heated seats, the works. Had anyone suggested then that a Ford Mondeo would be the order of the day I’d have been distraught. Now I’m eying up my new Fiesta and it feels ok.

Partly it’s down to changed circumstances. Back then I was using my car to go places for work, and had to look the part when I got there. Now I use the Fiesta to drive ten minutes to work in the morning and it sits round the back till it’s time to drive ten minutes home again, or fifteen minutes to Blonde Towers.

But it’s more than that, it’s all to do with expectations. Back then I was dealing with some financial heavyweights, most of those customers drove cars four times the price of that Audi, and often had something even more expensive tucked away for high days and holidays. It’s funny how the cars of those around you go toward setting levels of aspiration. Now I’m surrounded by new and used Fords and have customers rolling up in £200 scrappers in the forlorn hope of cashing in on the end of the scrappage scheme (now ended). Against that backdrop a new mid range Fiesta feels a perfectly reasonable steer.

It’s not just a matter of prestige however. That Audi was a seriously high quality piece of kit and, all questions of value, worth, or prestige aside, it was something I took great pleasure in running. It was a car I’d drive when I had no where to go just for the sake of enjoying the drive, and trips became as much about the journey as the destination.

But times have changed as have, for the moment, aspirations and expectations. And to that end the Fiesta is fine. It’s a looker (far nicer than any mainstream shopping trolley has any right to be), it’s a decent drive, goes ok, and has just about enough toys to keep my interest. In these new times of austerity it more than does the job, and to my own surprise I’m happier with it that I ever thought I could be.

Da Management

The big news at the dealership is a change of management! The previous manager decided he’d had enough of targets and paperwork and quit quite suddenly. A minor company game of management musical chairs ensued, and the manager of a smaller provincial dealership arrived a few days later to take the reins.

Young, keen, earnest and professional, this guy is chalk and cheddar to the outgoing manager, like-able chap though he was. Suddenly we’ve got someone who’s always there, always helping, always supportive. He’s taken some of the admin workload weight and he’s very much there to help us do business. And the difference is immediately apparent, my personal sales are up a good fifty percent, this last four weeks being my busiest ever by some margin on used cars (which, oddly, seems to be where the money is to be made rather than new).

I’m also starting to see some decent money from this, always a strong motivator.

As to the job itself, well I’m half a year in at the end of this month, remarkably. The paper-trial doesn’t get any easier (albeit helped slightly by the new boss) but I feel on top of it as regards used cars, and definitely getting there with the new stuff. However the ease that knowledge and ability bring is offset by the quantity brought on by increased sales. And Motability sales remain a black art of form filling, computer inputting and organisation that I’d rather steer well clear of for the moment.

So the overview halfway through my first year is one of a continued building of success, very much aided and abetted by the change of boss. The mechanics of the job are not too difficult once grasped, there’s just so very much of it and the skill seems to be in the juggling of it all and making everything happen on time which can get a little stressful. All in all though, it’s a positive vibe and we’ll see how the summer pans out.

So far, so good then, and with the support I’m now getting I believe it can only get better.

Hidden talents.

You may recall my mention of a Focus ST on a track in the hands of a professional racing driver recently, an experience that left me stirred, but not shaken.

So when a bright red second-hand (used Fords are always second-hand, it’s only Bentley’s that are “previously cherished”) example rocked up at the dealership for a customer to try I had to borrow the keys and take it for a sprint up the road.

Now the Focus generally is a perfectly reasonable car. It does what it does, is comfortable, handles neatly, is reasonably equipped and looks nice enough. It may lack the obsessional surprise and delight tactility of some of its German rivals, but it inevitably sells for a bit less used or new (ignore the list price, there are deals) so everyone is happy. It’s not the second-best selling car in Britain (behind the Ford Fiesta) for nothing. I’ve been running one for a few days whilst I wait for my new company car to be delivered (ordered but not yet arrived) and it’s a pleasant and comfortable if unremarkable way of getting around. But it’s not the sort of thing you can obsess over, it doesn’t impart a warm glow (unlike the Polite Hatchback, especially with those heated seats), it simply does the job neatly and efficiently.

The ST, however, is something else. Driving the ST is like watching an old lady break dance well, there’s a delicious unfeasibility to it, a sense that it just shouldn’t be possible.

On the outside the car is a fairly standard if slightly Barry’d Focus. There’s some wings and big wheels and whatnot, but nothing Baz and Daz wouldn’t buy from Halfords and bolt to their 1.6 base model. Inside the only giveaways are a pair of deeply bolstered and supremely comfortable Recaro seats and a set of auxiliary gauges atop the dash (just like Ford used to fit on hot Cortina MK2′s back in the seventies, albeit there were no turbo boost guages in them days). Under the bonnet is where the big news lies, in the shape of a five cylinder two and a half litre turbo charged petrol engine imported from Volvo. This is the Red Bull that gives the Focus ST its wings, this is the hub, the powerhouse, the heart and soul.

Slip into the Recaro and you’re in a world of ordinariness. Sure, the seats are fab (and orange in the car I drove) but you’re sat on them so you can’t see ‘em. The extra dials give a nod to the performance cred, but that’s about all. Fire it up and it’s smoother than a normal Focus, but it doesn’t shout, you can barely hear the engine. Slot into gear and toddle off down the road and if you’ve driven a lot of Foci you’ll notice a slightly firmer ride bit it’s not hard, and never crashy. All in all it feels like a nice normal Focus with better seats, a bit smoother engine, and a fractionally firmer ride.

Right up until the point where you hit a fast road and nail it!

Big engines give you torque. Turbochargers give you torque. And torque is twist action, pull, grunt. It’s what gives you that unrelenting neck straining never ending catapult of acceleration that you feel in a fast jet aircraft on takeoff. The ST has a big engine and a turbo charger, hence there’s 236lb/ft of the stuff available from just 1,600rpm, giving great big velvety unburstable effortless wallop, any gear, any speed. Drop the hammer and the car just lunges, no lag, no waiting for the revs to build, floor it and the car charges like Ocean Finance. And all to the accompaniment of a fabulous sonorous warble that segues into a hard edged yowl as the tacho sweeps round the dial as smoothly as the second hand of a Rolex watch. It’s just epic! We’re talking proper junior supercar performance here, sixty miles an hour from a standing start takes just over six seconds (think about that, each 10mph increment takes about a second), and it’s a full fat 150mph flat out.

And the good news doesn’t end there. The Focus has always been best in class for ride and handling and the ST is no exception. The ride quality at speed is excellent, smooth and planted, steering precise and accurate, and cornering without wallow or roll.

It’s a car that urges you on, each snick snick gearchange bringing a fresh double cream slug of noise and power. It’s addictive.

But best of all is the sheer unlikeliness of what lies beneath the surface. It’s like buying an Amstrad hi fi and discovering the innards are Bang and Olufsen, like buying a ticket with Ryan Air and finding yourself in First Class, like ordering a Maccie D and finding a Goucho Grill steak between the buns. It just shouldn’t be this good.

For sure, there will always be a whiff of Essex about any fast Ford, a touch of Burberry, a dab of Addidas. But you can buy these things at three years old with sensible mileage for about ten grand. That has to make it the performance bargain of the century.

I’d de-Barry mine and stick a 1.6 Zetec badge on the back. And go BMW hunting…

Fusgon

Text time: 15:32
Text recipient: The Blonde
Text content:

Hahaha, just sold the dreaded Fusion.
HAHAHAHA!!!
xxxxx

Message ends.

I disposed of the Fusion within 48 hours of being told that the only way out of it was to sell it. Its new owners a young couple with a new baby who just want simple cheap reliable transportation. Perfect. I even demonstrated the fold flat front seat as an ideal baby changing table. I have no shame when it comes to the politics of company cardom.

I drove off the forecourt that evening in a pale metallic blue Fiesta 1.4 Zetec with Bluetooth and voice activation. It felt like a result. My last comments to the sales manager were to the effect that I would be seriously unimpressed if its replacement was a similarly utilitarian box on wheels. He joked that he was going to find the car we’d had longest in stock and give me that from now on as clearly this was the secret weapon in terms of shifting undesirable metal. I laughed, nervously, and quickly changed the subject.

New company car Monday, fingers crossed…!

Fused.

Approaching the sales managers office I catch mention of my name, and enter to find him head bowed, talking softly into the phone. He looks up and motions me to a chair as the conversation continues. It’s bad news, I can hear it in the final few sentences, the set of his shoulders and the look in his eye. He replaces the receiver, looks at me sorrowfully and begins to unload his burden. “Look Charlie, you realise this is out of my hands don’t you, if it were up to me…” His voice tails off and I slump in my chair. “I’m sorry mate, it’s from on high, there’s no way of ducking it”.

They’ve discovered my surreptitious company car switch, I’m back in the diesel Fusion…

Now, let me make this absolutely clear, there is nothing, nothing at all actually wrong with the Ford Fusion. It’s not cramped, not uncomfortable, not ugly, starts and stops, steers left and right, does everything you could possibly want from a car. Provided you have no actual interest in cars. It is the white goods of the automotive world, the Bic Biro, the Casio digital watch. It works. And that’s all it does. It will get you from A to B with exactly the same anonymous anodyne functionality that your fridge displays whilst keeping your food cold. It does the job. But if you’ve any notion that a car should have a little chutzpa, a touch of soul, a smidgen of interest or intent, a hint of surprise or delight, steer well clear (unless that folding passenger chair/table arrangement does it for you).

I leave the office and kick the coffee machine, this is bad news. I try to cheer myself up with the thought that at least the 1.4 litre diesel engine will cut the fuel costs. And fail. I text The Blonde the news and receive a sympathetic reply. Even The Blonde, who operates on a slightly higher ethereal plane than my rather more materialistic approach to life, understands the blight of the Fusion (or perhaps is just being her usual kind and sympathetic self) and responds with condolences.

That evening I transfer my CD’s and bits and pieces out of the Fiesta and into the fusty Fusion. My sales manager has mentioned that the best way out of it is to simply try and sell it and I’ve already put a price board in the boot ready to hang in the windscreen the minute I arrive for work each morning. A colleague who’s also had his company car changed, rather more successfully, moves his gear across to his shiny new Fiesta Zetec. As I donka donka home in the OAPmobile I ruminate ruefully that I never thought I’d find myself mildly envious of someone getting a new company Fiesta..!

Condition stable.

I was doing probably close to 50mph in the dark grey Ford Focus estate when I came upon the obstruction maybe four or five car lengths in front of me. Even if the surface had been dry (it wasn’t) I knew I had absolutely no chance of stopping within the distance. I hit the brake pedal with everything I had and with the car virtually standing on its nose, anti lock braking system pulsing furiously, I wrenched the wheel hard to the right, missing it by what felt like millimetres. With no time to think I hurled the car back to the left, tyres screaming in protest, in a bid to avoid another impact. The whole thing was over in moments, car stationary, a sudden quiet descending.

Quiet apart from the uproarious laughter of my colleague and I, “go round again” he urged, wiping the tears of mirth from his cheeks, “faster this time!”.

It was the culmination of a two day introduction to Ford course for all new employees and we were in the midst of a hands on session to demonstrate some of the technology in the cars. We’d done a road drive in various models and were now at Donnington racetrack to learn about the benefits of Electronic Stability Program. Finally it was getting interesting.

How Electronic Stability Program works is basically this. A series of sensors monitor things like road speed, tyre rotation, steering angle, lateral forces and yaw forces. They determine from this what you’re trying to achieve, and what the car is actually doing. And if they sense the car getting out of shape it can reduce engine power and apply the brakes to any given wheel to keep the car pointing the way you want it to go and reduce or even stop a slide or spin. So, imagine you’re coming off a motorway at speed, down a slip road and round a left-hand bend. You’re doing 50mph when you hit a patch of oil that causes the car to start to slide. If (for example) the car starts to understeer (where the front tyres are losing grip and the car is sliding forwards toward the outside of the curve) the system will reduce power and brake the nearside (left) rear wheel in order to gently pivot the car back on course. It cannot overcome the ultimate laws of physics (try turning sharp right at traffic lights whilst doing ninety and you’ll crash regardless) but it will provide an excellent safety net that will help to keep the car stable and on line, and you out of hospital.

And it works, it really does work. The course they set us was on a wide open tarmac session with plenty of room to get it wrong or lose control. It started with a series of cones to slalom through which suddenly narrowed toward the end. Normally this would de-stabilise the car but ESP stops that happening with gentle tweaks to the brakes of individual wheels. Then a long right-hand bend to attack, another slalom and then a set of cones to create a roundabout. The advice here was to tip the car into the roundabout at speed and then simply floor the accelerator. Yup, give it everything. This is where the system really proves its mettle. As the car starts to slide the system simply backs off the power and refuses to let you go faster and you simply circle the roundabout at a faintly sickening speed with the car completely smooth and balanced. Out of the roundabout, a straight and then the section where we came in, a set of cones designed to simulate a sudden obstruction (such as someone pulling out of a side turning straight in front of you), with another offset section of cones to avoid immediately afterward.

Now imagine a group of car sales guys, all going round one after the other, all trying to outdo one another, and all getting faster and more confident with every try. On a wet surface. At a temperature just above freezing.

The fact that (despite our best, or maybe worst, efforts) not one of us spun a car says it all.

Brilliant system, and one that should be standard fit on every car sold (and I believe there are moves to make this so in the future).

Jagwhar

A recent panic regarding a pressing need for a tax disc for an ex motability car (hence unable to be taxed locally) and our driver snowbound saw me beetling up the dual carriageway to the nearby city one morning to visit the DVLA office and obtain said tax disc for a car which was due out later that day. The DVLA office is situated in the middle of a huge retail estate that also houses what must be almost every car marque currently available. Our group has four different franchises there alone!

Tax disc obtained it was time to leave, but a dicey combination of the bitter cold and middle aged plumbing left me in need of what I believe our American cousins refer to as a “comfort stop”. Unfortunately the only public facilities were a couple of miles in the wrong direction, but no matter, I had a cunning plan. I’d simply pop into a nearby car dealership on the auspices of picking up a brochure, and nip into the gents whilst I was there. Of course since brochures are free I had the run of pretty much any car make in existence to choose from so decided to go for a combination of nearness (I’m not getting any younger and pressing needs become ever more pressing with age) and prestige.

Just across the road I spied a Jaguar dealership. That’d do nicely.

Jaguar have come a long way even in the last few years. This once great marque was seen as close to the pinnacle of prestige many years ago, the chairman’s car, the prime ministers personal transport. But a combination of British Leyland influence (and build quality) in the eighties and bad product planning in the nineties (who on earth believed the X Type was a good idea) saw Jaguar limp bleeding into the noughties with an image that was more Arfur Daley and golf club wannabe than boardroom chic. Yes the prime minister still uses one, but Trousers Down Brown is hardly the ad exec’s dream brand ambassador.

Non the less I’ve always had a soft spot for dear old Jag, and I delight in their recent return to form with the cool and delightfully detailed XF and the Aston Martinesque XK. I hear they’re dropping the Jag wannabe X Type too, and I have very high hopes for the forthcoming XJ, a car that finally buries the whiff of tweed and pipe smoke forever.

I parked the company Fiesta (which, incidentally, has rather disappointingly stopped being vivid green and seems to have turned blue and sprouted an extra pair of doors) and pushed open the heavy glass showroom door. I was greeted politely by an immaculately coiffured salesman in an expensive suit and proper watch who enquired if he could be of assistance? I asked whether they had the brochure of the new XJ yet as my father had requested I pick one up for him. I did this for two reasons, firstly so that he wouldn’t want to take my details as a potential contact or engage me in conversation about the car (time and bladder were pressing), and secondly in case he’d clocked the Fiesta. I’d have hated for him to think I was some kind of timewaster who’d just popped in for a brochure and to use the loo’s…

Whilst he went to find me a brochure I popped to the loo and, mission accomplished, returned to the showroom. Our man from Jag had my glossy XJ marketing material all ready so I thanked him, bade him goodbye, and headed for the door. As I got there I stopped and took a last long reflective gaze at the beautifully furnished showroom, the glitteringly expensive cars, the church-like hush and the deep buttoned leather sofas that surrounded the expensive looking coffee table in the customer courtesy area.

And I thought “Hmmmm…”

PS. XJ Portfolio 3.0 V6 diesel, long wheelbase, in Lunar Grey, Cashew leather seats with Truffle contrast stitch and piping, Jet softgrain dash upper (anything too light just reflects in the windscreen on sunny days) and Canvas headlining, with Satin American Walnut veneers, and embossed Leaper on the headrests. 19″ Aleutian wheels, Bowers & Wilkins 1200w premium sound system, heated and cooled massaging seats front and rear, heated steering wheel with remote controls, adaptive front headlights, rear parking camera, DAB radio and digital television.

Cracking Kerridge.

I did it, finally I did it!!

Did a deal with a customer, sat down to do the inevitable paperwork, and got stuck into the dreaded Kerridge computer system fully expecting to grind to a halt and seek help. But as I filled in boxes and activated “Wizards” to choose sales options and ploughed on through it all gradually came together. Finally I finished on the operating screen with the customers details in, car details in, part exchange car details in, deposit taken, balance showing, right car figures showing, all in the right places and adding up. Scarcely able to believe my luck I tentatively hit “print”. And a perfect completed order form rolled off the printer like the answer to a million prayers.

Resisting the temptation to pull my shirt up over my head footballer stylie and run around the showroom holding the sacred document over my head and screaming I slid it in front of the customer for his signature before flourishing my own on the document and giving him a copy. Job done.

Well, job done apart from all the other paperwork of taking the deposit, creating a receipt, filling it in on the daily banking, doing a HPI check on the p/x, quoting and then proposing the finance, raising the finance paperwork, getting it signed, getting correct proofs of ID for the finance house, faxing the whole lot off to the finance house, getting the deal “confirmed”, raising the invoice and p/x invoice, getting a job card raised for a service and valet, booking the car in for a service and a valet, organising “Diamond Bright” paintwork and interior protection if the customer wants it, organising drive-away insurance, arranging a cheque for it to be taxed, getting fuel put in it, organising the used car warranty, filling in the warranty book, obtaining and preparing the V5, making sure we’ve got a valid MOT certificate (and booking it for one if not), preparing the hand-over sheet, finding the spare key that definitely went with the main key to the service department (and which they definitely did not get), making sure any accessories they wanted or the wheel trim that was missing and we promised would be fitted is there, organising the V5, MOT, and insurance certificate to obtain the tax disc, then later making sure we have finance payout, or taking the balance if no finance, providing another receipt for that, filling that in on the banking, making sure all the receipts go off correctly to HQ, running through the insurance programs we offer, doing the FSA forms to confirm eligibility and prove we’ve offered them, raising the invoice and paperwork for any of the programs they do want, running through all the paperwork with the owner, a full handover of the car with the owner making sure they’re happy with all of the operations, and finally making sure all the relevant paperwork goes off for archiving and that I have copies of it for my records of course.

Naturally that all applies only to used car sales. New car sales are far more complex…

Two days later I sold another and confidently sat down to create another order form. Only to find that despite filling in details of the part exchanged car properly and it appearing on the order form, it resolutely refused to enter the p/x car’s value. After much faffing I finally conceded defeat and sought out a colleague. Turns out there’s an anonymous little section where, if you click it with the mouse, a tick magically appears. Then it links the p/x car’s value to the order form correctly.

G’aaaahhh!!!!